


Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

by BerenaRoseWolfe



Series: Helen/Danielle Series [5]
Category: Inspector Lynley Mysteries (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-10
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:09:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 4,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26388472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BerenaRoseWolfe/pseuds/BerenaRoseWolfe
Summary: This story is from David Kirk's POV./
Relationships: David Kirk/Danielle Wolfe
Series: Helen/Danielle Series [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1897039





	1. Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> A terrifying truth is kept hidden, but can it be revealed (in order) to save a person's life.

I was at home, as my parents are on holiday and I was left in charge of the house and my younger sister, Helen.

She didn't like me at all, when she would run away from the house, I always got her back and I would put her on timeout.

Helen was a nightmare, but when our parents got back home, she was an angel. She would convince them that I was mean to her and my mother put it down to sibling rivalry.

"David was mean to me, mommy." Helen said to them as my father took me out of the room and spoke to me.

I explained to my dad what had happened and he told me that he wasn't angry with me at all.

After tea, I decided to go upstairs and watch some cartoons in my bedroom. As I laid on my bed and relaxed, I had fell asleep and then I woke up to feeling something against me.

"Get out of my bedroom." I said to the shadowy figure and then I turned the light on and I was shocked.

Afterwards, I got a bath and washed myself clean. I was still so confused about what had happened but i kept it to myself.


	2. Meeting Danielle

I was walking along the river bank just admiring the view, when I suddenly bumped into a lovely young woman;

"Pardon me, my fault." She said as I smiled.

"No please, it was my fault." I responded to her.

She just smiled, "I'm Danielle Wolfe!" She said as she held her hand out to me.

I took it and kissed her hand, "Nice to meet you, I'm David Kirk."

Danielle smiled at me, then we walked together and chatted about all sorts;

"Hot chocolate please?" Danielle asked the guy as I looked at her.

"No let me get these. Make up for our little binder this morning." I said as she smiled at me.

I paid for the drinks and we sat on the riverbank, laughing at jokes, we admire the scenery and then we walked back to her house.

As we talked, her dad pulled up and placed a protective arm around her;

"Who's this Dani?" He asked her as I smiled.

"This is David, dad." Danielle replied with a smile, then I held my hand to him.

"Nice to meet you, Mr Wolfe." I said as he shook my hand.

He smiled at me, "Nice to meet you too David."

After a while I left as my mom texted me for dinner;

"I'm sorry but I have to go, nice to meet you both. Danielle I hope our paths cross again." I kissed her hand and shook her father's hand.

Then I took a short cut home and entered into my parents' house;

"I'm home." I said as I hung my coat up and washed my hands.

Then I went upstairs and laid on my bed, I heard Helen storm up the stairs;

"Someone has obviously upset you!" I said to her.

"Oh fuck you David!" Helen responded as she went into her bedroom and slammed the door.

Then we had tea and I stayed upstairs in my room.


	3. The Abuse Starts

It had been a full nine months before Danielle and I began a relationship. We moved in together, in a nice house and we decorated it having fun in the process. When Danielle finished her decorating, she put the kettle on and made two teas, she called me for a break. I came downstairs and supped my tea in one, 

"Can't stop, almost done." I said as I put my cup in the sink, washed it and then went back to work.

After Danielle had drunk her tea, she was called into work for an emergency operation, she came upstairs and told me, that she had to go into work, 

"Babe I'm needed at work sorry." she said as she looked at me;

"Don't be late home." I responded as my tone of voice had changed and she was shaking.

"It's an operation." She replied. 

Just then I lunged at her and grabbed her shoulders hard, "I said don't be late home." I raged at her as my grip was hard, 

"That hurts please stop." She replied in tears. 

"Stop crying you big baby or I will give you something to cry about." I replied coldly, then I let her go. I received a text from Danielle straight away, 

"Just doing one more operation and then I coming home." She sent the text and then three dots appeared on my screen, I replied back, with the following the words, "Yeah I bet, probably shagging a bloke behind my back. Your such a whore."

It lasted two hours, which I didn't like, Danielle got home and came inside before she could react, I grabbed her and threw her onto the sofa. I climbed on top of her and I called her every name under the sun, she tried to get away but I held her down and then stripped her naked from the waist down.

I forced myself inside her. Danielle hadn't lost her virginity as she wanted to wait till after we were married. Afterwards, I got off me and went out, she quickly got in the bath to scrub herself clean.


	4. Pregnancies

Nightmares & A Painful Realisation:

It was now fifteen years later, Danielle and I were still married and I continued to abuse her, she recently had an ectopic pregnancy after discovering that she was pregnant by rape. she told me that she was pregnant and at first, I was happy but then my happiness (soon faded) and quickly turned into rage and I beat her up, yelling at her, 

"You did it to trap me, bitch, I hate you." I continued to abuse her until I left for work.

I cried silently as I began remembering that fateful night at my parents' house, and I wanted so much to tell Danielle (but I was afraid that she wouldn't believe me), so I declined from telling her.

The next thing I knew, I was arrested for abuse on Danielle. I wasn't happy about it, but apart of me accepted it as a way of escaping from the nightmares that filled me with so much hatred and rage;

As the detective interviewed me, I admitted to everything except for two things, "That's not my diary, I swear it isn't." I said as my lawyer questioned the police.

"What about this secret room? Full of pictures of Danielle (your soon-to-be ex-wife), you knew about this room because you have been in it." The detective said to me.

"I told you that I have never seen that room before. I admit to abusing my wife and everything that I put her through, but I will not admit to something that I didn't even know about nor do I even recognise that diary." I replied to him.

But it was no use, because I was charged and bailed. I went home but my parents didn't wanna know at all, only Helen stayed at my side and helped me.

I decided to go and see Danielle at her parents' house, but she didn't wanna know;

"Danielle please, I just need to talk to you. Just five minutes please." I said as her brother John stood in between us;

"Ok, I am going to give you exactly five minutes before I call the cops for harassing my little sister. She doesn't want to know David, you hurt her and abused her." John said as I looked at me.

I turned and walked away, I looked back and the door was closed.


	5. Divorce

I was at home thinking to myself;

Two weeks ago, Danielle filed for a divorce and reluctantly I signed the divorce papers.

Helen was staying with me, though something wasn't right at all. "Thanks for helping me Helen!"

She looked at me, "It's ok, besides I don't blame you for anything, if anything I think Danielle asked for it."

"Don't say that, I abused her and I admitted it to the police, end of story." I responded.

"How can you stand up for her, she left you and has applied for the divorce. Your not a man at all, your a weakling David and you know it." Helen said to me.

"If you really want Danielle back, then get them out of the way. Don't wait for the divorce come through, I will protect you."

I looked her, then she left the house and I sat in the kitchen.

Anyway, I was sent a text from my lawyer for the divorce meeting. Then I went to the meeting and the judge granted the divorce straight away, my world came crashing down.

I tried to speak to Danielle but her father stopped me and even her brother pushed me away;

"Leave my sister alone." John said as I stood there.


	6. Birthday Masecare

I had been having recurring nightmares and night terrors, I needed to talk to someone, but Helen said I was fine and that my troubles had started when I met Danielle.

I was living with my sister Helen, Danielle and I were divorced and it was granted by a judge.

My parents were not talking to me and yet they would talk to Helen, although something still didn't feel right. 

Helen would constantly redicule me at every opportunity she got and I would often blame myself for everything that had happened.

I watched as Danielle left with her friends, it was her birthday and I wanted her back. Afterwards, I broke into the house and shot Phil to death, then I hung John from the ceiling.

As he struggled for breath, I stabbed him in his abdomen and watched him bleed to death. Then I searched for Elizabeth and found her, she fought back.

*Danielle comes back home*

It was unusually quiet when I entered the house, I soon found my dad laying on the sofa, he had been shot to death and I cried hugging him. 

Then I went to find John and our mom, as I ran into John's bedroom. I gasped as I saw my older brother John, he had been hung from the ceiling and he had been cut open. 

I cried as I tried to make sense of things, just then I heard my mother running upstairs followed by footsteps which I recognised, I quickly hid under John's bed and witnessed my mom trying to escape from my ex-husband David. 

*Little did I know that Danielle had come home:*

"Where is Danielle?" I barked at Elizabeth as she cried, 

"I don't know, please leave me alone." Elizabeth responded fearing for her life.

"Danielle belongs to me and no one is gonna take her from me." I replied, just then I stabbed Elizabeth to death in front of Danielle.

Then I had left the house, due to the police arriving at the house. I was arrested and charged with thee first degree murders, I admitted to them and listened to the statement that Danielle had made.

It was my day in court and I was found guilty of all three murders, I was found guilty on the other charges that I was previously charged with.

I looked at Danielle, but she didn't look at me and I knew that I had to say sorry but I just didn't know how to say it.

Just before I was taking down, I went over to Danielle and tried to talk to her;

"Danielle, please listen to me." I said as she pushed me away.

Then I was taken down and then escorted to a prison in San Francisco. The judge had sentenced me to three consecutive life sentences for murder.


	7. Starting My Sentence

I began my sentence as the judge sentenced me to life imprisonment (without the possibility of parole) as I am serving three consecutive life sentences.

As I stared out at the window that night, my thoughts drifted off to my parents and I wrote them a letter;

"Mom, dad,

I am sorry that I let you down and there is something that neither of you know. Nevertheless, I am accepting my punishment and I know that you will or may never forgive me.

David"

I sent the letter and didn't expect a reply, however I got a letter from Helen and she told me that she wanted to keep in contact with me and I allowed it.

The following months, went by and I started working out. I made more enemies than I did friends but I knew my place and often turned a blind eye.

I did have one best friend, I told him what I did to my ex-wife and he wasn't happy;

"Man, why abuse her? She didn't do anything to you." He said to me.

"Yeah I know, but there was a reason behind it and I am only telling you about it." I responded.

He nodded, then as music plays over, I tell him what had happened and why I was like I was.

He wasn't happy, "Man, that's just wrong! Does your parents know?"

I shook my head at him.


	8. Beat Up

I had just returned from the gym, when I was jumped by a group of prisoners.

These guys didn't like the idea of me abusing a woman and they beat me to a pulp;

"Right ok, break it up. Let's get him to the hospital." One of the guards said as they broke up the beating.

I was admitted to the hospital and treated, I was returned to the prison and I stayed in my cell as my friend came in.

However, I refused to press any charges against them and I recovered. The following week, I got a visit from Helen and once again, she brought me down.

"Danielle has gone David, I don't know where she has gone." Helen said as I crossed my arms.

"I still love her Helen, I want to talk to her." I responded to her.

She looked at me (with the side eye), "What do you want to talk to her about?"

I sighed, "Nothing for you to worry about Helen." Then I got up and left the room.

However, as I sat on my bed and thought to myself, something about Helen made me feel very uneasy and I didn't seem to trust anymore.

From then, I told the prison guard that I didn't want any more visits from Helen nor did I want any letters from her. He nodded at me and sorted it out.


	9. Life Behind Bars

As I served my time in prison, my nightmares came back and I would wake up in a sweat.

It was now a year later and I kept getting letters from Helen, even visitation requests but I wasn't interested at all.

Soon enough, we had some new inmates (who was worser than me), one inmate spoke to me;

"Yo Kirk, if you tell anyone about our plans to mutilate that peado ring, I will kill your ass. You hear me Kirk?" He said as I agreed.

"My lips are sealed man, I won't say anything." I responded as he looked at me.

"You do this and I will make sure that we won't bother you again. We don't agree with what you did but we got our revenge when we beat you up." He replied.

I nodded, "There was a reason behind it man, but Danielle wasn't that reason."

He looked at me, "Maybe one day you can telle and I will listen. I gotta go, yo boys let's go."

As the assault took place, I kept an eye out for the guards and when I saw them I warned them immediately;

"The guards are coming." I said as they quickly scrambled into separate places and I went to my cell, closing the door behind me.

When the inmates were found, I was questioned by the guards;

"I didn't hear or see anything." I said as they left my cell.

However, I told the guy about one of the guards suspecting him;

"That guard over there is suspecting you, but I haven't said anything I swear." I said to him as he believed me.

"Thanks Kirk! We won't bother you, I meant it earlier what I said, maybe one day you can talk to me and tell me what is going on." He replied as we bumped fist.

Afterwards, the rest of the gang came and apologize to me, we became close. I often helped them when they needed it, even my friend became involved with the gang.


	10. Sleep Deprivation

Due to the nightmares and the night terrors, I was barely sleeping and it was taking a toll on me.

As I sat in my cell reading a book, the leader of the gang came in;

"Hey Kirk, want some coc to help with the nightmares?" He asked me as I smiled.

"I won't get caught with this will I?" I responded.

He shook his head, "Of course not, one of the inmates who we mutilated, I planted the drugs on him."

I nodded, then I sniffed the cocaine;

"Wow, I needed that. I did drugs before I was put in here, it helped me to deal with what had happened to me."

He looked at me, "Was you hurt?" He asked me.

"Yes I was. But it shaped who I was and I always believed it was my fault....*sits down on the bed*....I was abused by my sister Helen, no one (except for you and my cell mate) knows the truth."

He sat next to me, "What your parents?" 

"They wouldn't believe me, even if I had told them and Helen is their golden child." I responded.

"But she abused you Kirk, I take it that you don't trust her?" He asked.

I nodded,

"There is just something that about Helen that I don't trust. Yeah I killed Danielle's family, but when I think back. Helen always brought me down and blaming me, something just doesn't feel right."

He put his hand on my shoulder, "Follow your instincts mate, don't trust her and if she is looking for Danielle, then you need to make sure that you find her first."

I smiled, "Yeah, I did try to tell Danielle before, but she didn't wanna know." I recalled.

"Maybe give it a few more years, before you try again and who knows, maybe then you might be able to tell her." He said to me.

"Thanks. Maybe I will right her a letter and explain it in there, maybe this can be my hope in protecting her from Helen (if my feelings about Helen are true), then at least she knows the truth." I said to him.

He nodded, "Yeah you do that Kirk."

After he left, I snorted some cocaone and then I fell asleep for the night.


	11. Planning To Escape

I was in my cell, when the guard passed me a note and I read it.

My heart stopped, Helen had found Danielle and I knew that I had to go to Danielle before Helen got to her.

However I opened my cell door and saw the leader of the gang, I nodded to him and he came to my cell;

"What's wrong Kirk?" He asked me.

"Helen has found my ex-wife, I need to get to Danielle before Helen does. I still don't trust her anymore." I responded.

He looked out of my cell, then back at me;

"Me and my gang are going to break out of prison, if you help us to get out, I will help you by finding out where Danielle is?" He replied.

"Thanks, I will help you and thank you for helping me." I responded.

Over the following months, we planned our escape from prison and we helped each other. Then the leader of the gang came in and showed me the information;

"Hey Kirk, look at this?" He said handing it to me.

"She lives in London." I said reading the piece of paper in my hands.


	12. Needing A Cover

I have been in prison now for two years, myself and the gang members had been planning to escape from prison.

Even my cellmate found out about the escape plan and he asked to join us.

I was in my cell with the gang, we were having a conversation;

"To escape, we are going to need a cover." I said as the leader agreed with me.

"Not just a cover, but we will a rouse (one that they wouldn't suspect at all." He stated as the gang agreed.

As we had dinner, I learned that someone was gonna betray us to the prison guards, so I told the leader of the gang and they took care of it.

Afterwards, I laid on my bed (smoking), as I thought about how to tell Danielle about what I had been through.

The escape route was planned and we just waited on the cover, we searched over the place for the perfect cover (but nothing came up).

As the sun rose the following morning, I had a light breakfast and then I went back to my cell. Just then, my cell mate came in and showed me what he had found.

"Go and bring the leader in please?" I said as he saw the leader and nodded at him.

He came into my cell and I showed him the cover.

"Let's do it for that day then." He responded as we smiled at each other.


	13. The Night of Our Escape

It was finally time to put our escape into action, the guards and the rest of the police officers were glued to the stage as it was a magic show;

"Fucking idiots!!" My friend said as we all watched, then we escaped.

We used the ceiling as our way out and it went smoothly;

"By the time they have noticed that we have escaped, we will be over the border and then we go our separate ways." I said to the leader.

"Yep we will be, we already have our new identities. Do you have yours Kirk?" He asked me.

I pulled it out of my back pocket, "Yep, let's go."

We knocked out the guards with smelling salts, then we climbed the fence and ran off into the distant.

After escaping, we laid low and stayed hidden;

"It's been (nearly) twelve hours since we escaped and the guards were still no otherwiser." I said as I kept watched.

"Well Kirk, we knew they were idiots. Anyway, you ready to go to the station?" He said to me.

I nodded, "I would wait but we don't know when they will sound the alarm." Just then we heard police sirens and we all hid.

After they had left, we escaped and then went to another location (before we split up), "We've only got one shot at this, so no mistakes." I said as the leader nodded.

Then we went our separate ways, after putting our disguises on. I went to the train station via a secret way in and I boarded the train. Keeping to myself, I managed to elude the police. After an hour or so, I arrived in London and went to a secret location and laid low.

Using the computer (I used the wi-fi to confuse the police, by letting them think that I was in New York), afterwards I managed to search up Danielle and I found her address. I found the safest (and unknown) route to get there without alerting the police.

I was now ready to tell Danielle the truth and I needed her to know (not to exempt me, but to relief me of my past demons).


	14. Fooling The Police

It had been a couple of days since the prison escape, I decided to fool the police (by returning to the King's Cross Train Station via a secret way in), I deliberately got sighted on the cameras at the King's Cross Train Station.

I also knew that the police watched him would be watching me (from a far), nevertheless I distracted them by creating fake camera images of me and putting them in certain places in London and showing my face.

I decided to look up the police and soon came across a Detective Inspector named Thomas Lynley, he and his wife, Barbara Havers were staying with Danielle and Helen to protect them from me.

However, I looked into Tommy's background and learned more about him, this was information that I could use against him (should he stop me from speaking to Danielle), I formed my plan carefully as the police kept looking for me.


	15. The Final Confrontation

It was six months later, I still hadn't been caught by the police.

*Tommy commenting from the previous story:*

Danielle wasn't sleeping at night and neither was Helen, to be honest I couldn't sleep as much, with every little noise or movement it put me on edge all the time.

As I walked into the kitchen (to make a pot of tea for everyone), I noticed Helen outside with a packet of fags, so I went outside and spoke to her.

Just as she lit one, I came out and saw her;

"I Never knew you were a smoker!" I said as she spun her head round to see me.

"I'm not normally, it's just all this with David, and Danielle not sleeping at night. It's getting to me Tommy and I feel useless because, Danielle is my wife, she needs me and I just I feel that I can't help her." I said in response.

I walked over to her and gave her a cuddle;

"Hey, you are doing great. Your here with Danielle and she knows you are here for her, Helen. To be honest, (and from what I remember) you are anything but useless, don't sell yourself short ok." I reminded her as she smiled.

She pulled away and looked at me;

"Barbara has really changed you, hasn't she?" She said as she saw a smile spread across my face.

"Not just Barbara, but if you hadn't come home that day and announced that we were divorcing, I may never have known (or found) how good it actually feels to be here and helping you." He responded as Barbara giggled.

It was a couple of weeks later, I had Grace on my lap and we were playing rock paper scissors, which she won and I couldn't help but laugh.

Then dinner was served and I put Grace in her chair;

"Thank you uncle Tommy." Grace said as I smiled at her

"Your welcome Grace." I responded.

We sat down and enjoyed the meal, after the meal and pudding, Helen and Danielle washed up the pots and then we went into the living room.

*After knocking the two guards out, I sneaked into the house and closed the curtains and locking the door. I heard them all laughing and playing happily.*

*Helen commenting.*

None of us was prepared for what would happen next, we were having a normal family dinner and things went from bad to worse.

Suddenly, we all stopped dead in our tracks, as we all saw David. The front door was locked and the curtains were closed, it was a hostage situation and the kids were terrified.

"Danielle, we need to talk and I need to tell you something." David said as Danielle clung to Helen.

"I have nothing to say to you David. You killed my family, (my parents and my brother), you robbed them of watching me marry." Danielle said as Grace realised who David was.

"You killed my nana and grandad, and my uncle John. I hate you." She said as I picked her up and cuddled her.

David realised who Grace was and tried to get to her;

"Sweetheart, it wasn't daddy's fault, mommy left me and I wanted to tell her something." He said as Grace clung to me.

Just then David grabbed Winston and put the knife to his skin, as I passed Grace to Barbara;

"Let my son David." I said as Helen was shocked at how much I had changed.

David smiled at me sinisterly, "I have what you want Lynley, and you have what I want. So hand over my daughter to me and you can have your son."

I scoffed, "Do you really think that I would hand over my niece to someone like you." I said to him.

"I am her father, I didn't know she existed until now. She needs me and I want to talk to Danielle alone." He responded.

"Well I won't and Grace doesn't want, you killed her grandparents and her uncle. She doesn't even trust you David, yet you expect me to hand her over to you." I responded.

Just then, David let go of Winston and lunged at me with the knife. A fight ensued between us and I gave just as much as I could take.

However, David overpowered me and grabbed my gun, he pointed it at me and cocked it. Just then the police broke in and shot David in his back.

As David was shot, the song 'Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word' By Elton John & Blue, plays overs as he dies. 

I quickly got out of the way and watched as he slumped to the floor, after he died I was taken outside and examined by the paramedics;

"Well DI Lynley, you have nine broken ribs and a black eye." The paramedic said to me as I smiled.

I smiled back, then Barbara came over with Grace in her arms, I took Grace from her arms and gave her a cuddle.

"I love you uncle Tommy." Grace said as we hugged.

"I love you too Grace." I responded, then I passed her to Helen as Winston wanted me to hold him.

"Are you ok daddy?" Winston asked me as I smiled at him.

"Yeah, daddy will be ok because I have you and mommy." I replied as he just hugged me.

**Author's Note:**

> Main Characters:
> 
> David Kirk - David Tennant  
> Danielle Wolfe - Billie Piper  
> Helen Kirk - Brigid Brannagh  
> DI Tommy Lynley - Nathaniel Parker  
> DS Barbara Havers - Sharon Small  
> Helen Lynley - Catherine Russell  
> Grace Wolfe (child) - Julia Joyce


End file.
